


A Supernova

by writingcap



Category: Gaya Sa Pelikula (Web Series), GsP, Ian Pangilinan, Pangpang – Fandom, Paolo Pangilinan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:08:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28226667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingcap/pseuds/writingcap
Summary: Fate meets another version of Paolo and Ian in a universe that seems oddly familiar, but knows that it hasn't seen yet. It can't be helped, sometimes, Fate does get late.The IDLY x PangPang fic you did not ask for (or did).
Comments: 3
Kudos: 48





	A Supernova

**Author's Note:**

> This short fic is connected with my first PangPang fic here on ao3 titled: Two Lost Stars. While it can be a stand alone fic in its own (I think), I would suggest reading the first one for better understanding. 
> 
> (Planned to put it as a second chapter for Two Lost Stars, but realised that I didn't want to taint the fluff and softness I think the first one has huhu. But here ya go.)

Fate always had the trickiest relationship with Time. 

That's not to say that Fate had an easygoing friendship with Coincidence and all the other entities—let's just say Fate is not the most popular entity out there—but Time was always harder for Fate to understand. 

They would often argue about the simplest of things and yes, Fate can admit that most of the time it is birthed from its own stubbornness, from its pride, from Fate insisting that as long as _Fate_ was on anybody's side, everything didn't matter that much. It'd take Fate to witness two lost friends to never have seen each other again; perfect lovers to never have known what the other's eyes looked like because they were never given as much of a chance to gaze in each other's eyes; Parents not attending their children's birthdays and graduations; and yes, sometimes, death. Something that echoes a collision that happened, what feels like, eons ago. But hurt nonetheless. 

That's when Fate would take a minute from the universe and lie in a corner that has always provided comfort to it, and stay quiet—the voices of everybody getting too loud. Shouting. Angry. All at once. 

_Kasalanan ng Tadhana 'to!_

_Maybe it was fate you never got back together._

_Baka Tadhana na ang nagsabi na hindi n'yo pa oras._

_Tanginang Tadhana na 'yan, siya ang may kasalanan nito, eh._

Fate would cover its ears, but know, ultimately, it was futile. It always has been. The quiet prayers of the grateful are always overpowered by the screams and shouts of those that are resentful. 

Sometimes, Fate wanted to answer back. Say that maybe it wasn't its fault. Sometimes, _it_ lays a path leading towards choices and there's nothing it can do. Fate can only do so much before it gets chastised, before it is reprimanded that something is no longer part of its job. 

Hindi naman trabaho ng Tadhana na ilagay sa ayos ang lahat ng buhay ng mga tao sa mundo. Hindi n'ya trabaho na ihamig ang lahat ng pangyayari sa kung anong maganda at sa tingin ng lahat ay dapat. Kaya bakit ang sisi ay laging sa kanya? But Fate has accepted that with great responsibility, comes an even bigger amount of blame. Sure, it still hurts, but the acceptance has happened a long time ago. After all, Fate is the first one to blame itself ever since the collision happened.

_"To meet this one in all the lifetimes I will be given," Fate can remember how the star started to shake, to crumble, to burst before it, but not before he said his wish, "In every life, in every chance, in every small opportunity that I will have—let the earth and heavens move so I can see him, meet him and if it's not too much to ask of you, Fate, I hope I get to love him."_

Today. The date is December 15, 2023. Friday. It was night time, the waves are crashing against the shore and there's music playing.

Fate was surprised to feel a familiar voice call for _it_ , pleading and begging. A whisper so strong it was able to transcend universes to get to it—and Fate wasn't surprised by the intensity, no, not at all. Fate was surprised who was calling it. It was the other half of a couple it knew long ago. Fate was always so used to hear the quite prayers of the one who made _it_ promise, but not this one. 

So, Fate came running as soon as it can. Mabilis, hinihingal, nagmamadali. _Something was amiss._

Fate placed itself squished between the people who were shouting the lyrics to the song and looking up ahead, as if in a trance, and that's where _its_ eyes drifted. To the stage where it felt two familiar energies. It's funny how much they change in each lifetime they have, but whenever and wherever, Fate would always be able to recognise them because of the palpable pull the they have, the only one Fate has been blessed to witness since then. 

Ian, the singer, had his eyes closed as he enchanted everyone with his voice. Fate closed its eyes, yes, that voice felt familiar. When Fate looked back up, its eyes followed the whisper that asked for it: Paolo, the drummer, was playing behind Ian, passionate and loud. 

Fate was too occupied to notice at how maybe Paolo was hitting the drums a little too angry, gripping the drumsticks as hard as he could, as it only smiled at how silly the universe is sometimes. How the same names and the same faces can be given to two pairs of people, never knowing that the other existed. 

The song ended and soon enough, the band was packing away. 

"Wooh! Wasn't that quite the experience?!" The emcee talked to the crowd and was met with claps and shouts of agreement. 

Ian smiled at the crowd as he waved, his bandmates doing the same except for Paolo who was packing away. _Mabilis, hinihingal, nagmamadali._ Fate almost wanted to ask why he was in such a rush, wanted to go there and stop his hands from shaking. _Is he scared?_ Fate thought, _Nervous? They did great!_

Realisation dawned on him as Paolo's eyes shifted to a certain vocalist thanking the crowd. He looked at him with all the words, with so much longing and yet, they still looked empty, tired. Fate has seen this before and it didn't like where it was leading. 

"Thank you so much for having us! Maybe we'll get to play again next year!" Ian chuckled, proud and confident. He tousled his hair which made the drummer from behind him to cast his eyes away as if being burnt. 

"For sure!" The emcee agreed and Ian gave back the mic so the other band could start to play.

The minute they were off the stage all the other band members started to disperse citing plans and other commitments that somehow felt like excuses, but left Paolo and Ian alone together. Fate immediately made its way to where they were and was met with utter silence. 

This was not the warmth Fate has been used to. And suddenly, Fate knows. 

_Fate knows that it has been late. A little too late—seven years._

It can almost see Time, hands on its waist looking at it and telling it, "I told you, I hold importance." 

"Pao, tara lakad tayo?"

Ian suddenly asked in the middle of their silence, tentative, doubtful and an apology waiting at the edge of his lips. Paolo looks at Ian, tired and meekly nods. Paolo can't say no to him, even with every fibre of his tired and worn out body screaming at him this is a territory he tried to conquer, but failed. This is a line that he crossed, thinking maybe the other side will greet him, arms wide open. But was met with utter disappointment. 

Fate trudge closely. Walking with the two and feeling every step trample its core. Fate can feel the heaviness in Paolo's every sigh, can feel the longing in the way he was fidgeting with his fingers, trying, desperately to stop his eyes to glance over the person next to him. 

Fate wanted to curse Coincidence as the next band started to play, as if it knows where Fate is and who it was witnessing to slowly drift apart. Fate can almost see Time and Coincidence, telling it should've listened. It wasn't all encompassing, it didn't hold much control than the rest of them, and it appears even to the only things it holds dearly to its heart. 

Ian stops walking and so does Paolo, standing just behind him, not beside, but behind. Because it has always been like that, hasn't it? Being in love with your best friend feels like living in their shadow, worshipping them in secret, but staying close because the thought of being too far has always been worse than knowing they can't see you because they're not looking back.

_Lumingon ka lang, makikita mo na 'ko, lumingon ka lang._

Fate has never hated its connection with the stars more than this moment. It doesn't want to hear how Paolo's flame is dying from being ablaze for so long.

Ian glances, but barely and what comes out of his mouth is the apology that has been taunting him since Paolo told him he loved him and he stood there, frozen. Not knowing what to do. And Fate wanted to suddenly shout in frustration knowing that in an utter moment of stupidness and desperateness of not wanting to stay silent as his best friend of _fucking_ seven years tells him he loves him, Ian kissed him. 

_Ian kissed Paolo._

In another universe, that could've meant everything. It could've meant a lifetime. It could've meant years of skirting around, suddenly loud and clear. But not in this one. In this one, that kiss meant their end. If it happened another time, if Fate was there, it could've done something! _Fuck!_ It could have done something. 

He kissed him and it didn't mean the way it was supposed to. It didn't happen the way it should have. 

"Sorry," he repeats, turning his body towards Paolo now. Apologetic. Serious and sincere.

Paolo raises his eyes and gazes at his face for a moment, a small smile on his lips. Paolo looks heartbreaking in the little light the stage was able to give them in this corner. The drums were no match to the beat of his heart in this moment, he feels like he could tear his drum skin. 

_Ang gwapo mong gago ka_ , Paolo thought, _mahal na mahal kita_.

Paolo looses his smile, he looks up ahead to the stage, away from Ian and directs his smile there, empty. 

"Hindi mo naman kasalanang hindi mo ako mahal," Paolo shrugs his shoulder as if that did not feel like a thousand knives stabbed in his chest. As if that didn't feel like having his toes step on shard glass. As if that didn't feel like finally having his illusion for the past seven years teared in front of him. All hope lost. 

Ian wants to say something—he opens his mouth, but closes it again. He's still looking at Paolo. Fate is watching everything unfold before him. It wanted to pull its hair out, get angry at any entity it can blame, but knows that maybe this time, for them, for the stars it claims it to have met eons ago, Fate feels like it is its fault. 

A person suddenly comes rushing in the picture and Fate can tell the sudden shift from the two stars. How Paolo's wall that has been there since the nigh started only grew higher, how all the nerves in his body tensed and the way he looked at Ian who became softer, his eyes, his smile, the way he leaned towards the other person.

"Are we going home na?" Ian asked and Fate wanted to curse itself knowing damn well that in another universe, that voice only belonged to Paolo. It has been his since the beginning of time. _It still is._

"Inom pa daw tayo nila Je," the person latched on to Ian's arm, "nag-aaya kasi last night na natin bigla, eh." The person's eyes lead to Paolo who is only quietly observing the exchange. 

"Aw," Ian scratched his neck, "but I promised Pao's Mom that I'd have him home. Five am na pinaka late." 

And Paolo almost lets himself smile. Almost considers that as a win, but is reminded that at the end of the day, he's not the one Ian is coming home to. Maybe, it's best to let him go now. And Fate dreads as it knows the next thoughts to cross Paolo's mind, _Baka Tadhana na ang may sabi na itigil 'ko na, ngayon na._

And Fate wanted to whisper, if it can, that if it was the one responsible, if it can do anything for him right now to not let Ian go, it would. 

_My stars, oh how I've failed you,_ Fate thought as the other person's hands graze Ian's arms, as if marking him and in this, telling Paolo to back off, telling Paolo that Ian is already claimed. 

_Yes, he is! By Paolo, in any lifetime! Carved and engraved in the corners of the universe!_ During these times, Fate really hates that it can't scream, can't physically insert itself to what's happening before it. 

"Please," the person pleads, looking up at Ian. Paolo needed to look away. _Masakit, mahapdi. Mahirap pa lang makita ang araw na nakikipaglaro sa buwan._ Paolo feels it in spaces that he has never felt before—how this hurt. How this pierced him to his soul. How can he already miss somebody that's just metres away from him? 

Ian is thinking and Fate wanted to shake him to his senses. Wanted to whisper to choose Paolo, but there are choices Fate still can't dictate, can't control no matter how much it wanted to. So, Ian's answer was enough to lift not only Paolo's face up, but also Fate's. 

"Can't talaga, sorry, but we need to go home. Next time?" Ian offered a smile, and the other person shrugged. 

"Okay. Let me just get my things." Ian nodded and held the other person's hand walking away, a pathetic attempt to hold on, really, if Fate was being honest. 

And Ian looked back to the stage, the prior conversation suddenly forgotten. The apologies, the confession just forgotten laundry at the bottom of the pile. 

But Paolo did not forget. How can he? When he spent seven years of his life foolishly in love with the oblivious bastard in front of him? Ian knew of the way he felt, but not the depth of it. He will never be able to.

 _That's where you're wrong,_ Fate wanted to whisper, _he does. He always knows._

Ian looked at the other side where the other person has ran off to, and in that direction, his eyes lingered, like he was waiting and Paolo knew that was the way he looked at Ian. Binalik ni Ian ang tingin sa mga kumakanta, pero balisa sa kung anomang dahilan. But Paolo was sure it wasn't because of him, sure it wasn't because he told him he loved him, was sure it wasn't about their kiss last night.

_Pagkatapos nito, Pao, bitaw na. Baka hindi mo na kayanin._

But the heart wants what it can't have and Paolo is pushing it. Sagarin na ang katangahan dahil nand'yan na rin naman s'ya. Dalhin na sa sukdulan para pagkatapos walang pagsisisi ang bumagabag sa kanya. Just one last time to look at him, to savour it, without anybody there, just the two of them away from the crowd with this band's song playing, as if taunting Paolo. 

_Maybe it's taunting us,_ Fate thinks. 

"Five minutes pa," Paolo suddenly whispers under his breath looking at Ian's back turned to him. He walked two steps forward, just to catch a proper glimpse of his face.

 _Tangina, ang gwapo mo,_ Paolo thinks, _pero ang gago mo. Akala 'ko sapat nang nasa tabi mo ako ng pitong taon. A fool and a slave at your every whim. Kasalanan 'ko namang umasa ako, 'di ba? Pero kahit kasalanan 'ko at oo, kahit alam 'ko, bakit parang pinapatay pa rin ako sa sakit?_

No words, no, Paolo is unable to conjure up words right now, his throat a mess of knots and unsaid confessions of love and pain. He just wants to gaze at him. Pagbigyan na ang mga matang nangungusap at nagsusumamo sa kung anuman na baka pwedeng pagbigyan. 

The song has ended, but Ian is still looking ahead as they get ready for the next one, and Paolo is still looking at him. 

"Five minutes pa please," Paolo whispers again, looking at the corner to check if the person was coming back anytime soon. If Ian was going to get snatched away and he won't be able to do anything by it. 

And as Pao whispers it again for the third time, it came with a prayer, addressed to _Fate._.. _"Five minutes lang, sige na, Tadhana, pagbigyan mo na 'ko, nakikiusap ako, kahit ngayon lang. Ngayon lang."_

And Fate felt it in his core, a punch in the gut—a promise it considered as its duty. A promise that it has lived by since the beginning.

Who was Fate to not grant one of the stars' wishes? Who was it to deny him that five minutes more of being with the one he has always destined to be with? When it lacked on giving them what they deserved in this lifetime. 

So, Fate pulled some strings, whispered to the wind and pushed away the waves, all the necessary stops to give them their five minutes more. That's all _it_ can do and it's already taking so much. Fate is already thinking what the others would tell it. How this could have affected so many other entities, but right now, it's being selfish, wanting to give this to its favourites.

And in a moment of desperation, in a moment where Fate is kneeling and begging, not knowing who else to call—Fate asked Time, humble and pleading. 

_Please, Time. For my stars. Please._

It didn't take Fate a second before it felt Time and for the first time in ages, they agreed. Time lets them borrow five more minutes. Nothing more, nothing less. It's all time can give.

_Yes, of course. They deserve it._

Fate smiles in gratefulness to Time then and Time gives the smile back—It knew how important this is, knew how much Fate was feeling, how guilty and sorry. It'll always be sorry for the chances the two stars won't have.

Five minutes. Nothing more, nothing less. Five minutes and the world starts turning again. 

_I'm sorry, my stars, but that is all I can give. That's all **we** can give. _

Ian, at last, looks back at Paolo and Fate swore that they felt it, an echo of their time being with Fate. _They should._ But they have also always been stubborn.

Paolo looks at him, waiting for him to talk, to say anything. _Sinasayang mo ang limang minutong binibigay sa 'kin ng Tadhana,_ Paolo thinks. 

"Ano?" 

But Ian just shrugs his head and turns away again. There's not enough courage to say the things he wants to say. And that's the first time Fate saw the glinting wish of the star that asked him eons ago. The question wasn't about love, no, that would be present in all the lifetimes, in every chance they'd meet. 

Fate sadly smiled and thought the star should have also asked for courage in all the lifetimes, for braveness. 

Paolo looks at the boy he loves and Fate has never heard this star be this loud. It can feel it in the way Paolo kept his hands in his pockets, scared that if they were out, it'd reach for Ian. The way his feet kept bouncing, up and down, trying to remind himself that it is best not to stay rooted like the way he has for the past seven years that he has loved his best friend. 

_Tangina, pitong taon, Ian? Pitong taon ng paghihintay na baka makita mo rin ako. Pitong taon akong nabulag sa 'yo._

Fate closed its eyes and it can see their journey up here, can understand more than what was happening and fuck did it hurt. How many chances they've walked past, how many times have their lips should have already connected and how many hugs could have meant so much more if one of them have leapt. 

They would always meet, yes, nothing can stop that, not Fate, not anyone. But as the promise goes, it can not be guaranteed that they end up together. This is one of those. And fuck does Fate wish it shouldn't have to be. 

It has witnessed this happen so many times—the first collision and all the others after, but the hurt is always the same. Fate feels both of their pain and suffering, all versions of them. 

He suddenly hears Paolo mutter the same confession he did last night, low enough so it won't strain his clogged up throat of agony, but loud enough—willing for the other to look at him, "Mahal kita, gago. Pitong taon na."

But the five minutes are suddenly up and the world needs to turn again and just as Ian looks back at him, the moment is broken by another person entering. 

"Tara na!" The other person says, pulling Ian away, his eyes staying with Paolo. 

_Come on, star, I have faith in every version of you._ But he walks ahead, his eyes snatched away from the boy he left holding his broken drum skin of a heart. 

And Paolo just looks, because that's the only thing he's allowed. 

"Mahal pa rin kita, gago," Paolo says again, a bit louder, the two too far away now to hear him, expecting him to walk after them. 

"Pero pagkatapos nito, wala na," Paolo finally whispers, looking down at his shoes and starts walking and Fate knows that he meant it. 

And Fate looks at Paolo surprised because it thinks Paolo can see _it_ , his prayer of gratitude directed towards _it_ as Paolo raised his head to look at where Fate walked beside him...

"Pero salamat sa limang minuto, Tadhana." Before he jogs to catch up. 

Fate stays rooted in its place as the two stars walk off. It looks up to the universe and says, "I take blame for that... don't punish them please," it looks to the retreating figures and wishes more than anything that it was wrong. Maybe it wasn't too late, maybe they still had hope. 

But Fate also knows that sometimes, life doesn't follow the fairytale deeply ingrained in us, but that doesn't mean that there was never love or the love shared wasn't real—just means that the universe has a different plan.

And it is also true, sometimes, Fate does get late. It never had a good relationship with Time... except this one time. 

And it whispers again, directly to Time this time and says another _thank you._ It will never stop to feel grateful. Time chuckled and replied, echoing a question Fate once directed to the universe and a question Time answered just a few moments ago, 

_They deserve it, don't you think so?_

They always will. 

**Author's Note:**

> Was so torn with this one because of an Ian as Carson agenda I have and I don't know why Paolo became the Carson as soon as I wrote this! But grew to like it as I read it again and also because of Kuya Cholo! Thank you for straightening my thoughts earlier! Thank you for being the voice of Time in this fic! And thank you for asking the right questions to make me arrive where we did. Basta, nasabi ko na sa 'yo idol kita hehe. I want to be like you when I grow up. Chz. Labyu!


End file.
